My Favorite Things

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& now something positive!

I’ve been practising singing a song for a special little girl in my life.

I think I’m doing a reasonable job so far, the cat approaches me when I’m singing and doesn’t quickly run out of the room. He could also just be coming closer because he’s trying to claw my eyes out, I guess we’ll see…

The song is, “My Favorite Things”.

When the dog bites, when the bee stings

When I’m feeling sad

I simply remember my favourite things

And then I don’t feel so bad

No matter who you are or whatever planet you’re from, everyone has a list of favorite things.

There is a key to every heart, we all have memories, moments, tastes, smells and loved ones that immediately can make us happy.

So what if part of getting over a really bad day was about taking a moment to remember or focus on some of our favorite things?

I had the recent opportunity to see Tony Robbins live and participate in a guided heart meditation, where he asks you to remember three things you are truly grateful for.

How amazing does it feel, to outwardly send a thank you to the universe with your whole heart for the blessings you just couldn’t live without! Why don’t I just sit in gratitude more often?

Also, why do I want to have sex with this man so bad! Tony Robbins is to motivational coaching what Leonard Cohen is to music! Tony really speaks to me and I’m not just talking about my crotch area…Not in a weird cultish kind of way, but in an honest everything he says seems to make a lot of sense way.

I was PMSing when I attended his seminar so the experience was a bit of an emotional roller coaster.

I laughed, I cried, hugged some strangers, felt truly alive & close to B., checked if I looked fat in the bathroom mirror and had a shit load of carbs as soon as it was all over!

CSISo without further delay here are some of my favorite things in no particular order:

Watching the sunset with my toes in the water,

Killing my workout,

Cat paws

Sipping a coconut with a straw & dancing with Papa.

Stepping off a plane in a new place to explore…

The first smell of spring lilacs,coconut

Endless kisses from B.

Spending the day writing under a tree

& being an auntie.

Take a minute to think about some of your favorite things and please like & share this post 🙂

F.

Update: Ontario Monster Vet

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evil-vet

Letter Series Chapter 6:

Dear Universe,

I have a pressing request. If at any point soon women could stop being described with belittling and shallow statements such as; braless, age defying and makeup free, I would be very grateful.

Change takes time so here’s something else… There is a cruel man who hurt some innocent animals. Don’t give him the chance to do it again.

A six month suspension can’t undue evil, he should never be allowed near another animal! July 14th is a date I need you to remember, on this day justice has to be served.

I’m afraid of calling the Skyway Animal Hospital and for it to actually be real that Dr. Mahavir Rekhi is practising again!

Long live the internet and its ability to share information. Doing something wrong now means not only having news articles written about it, word continues to spread through blogs, social media, shared videos and google reviews.

What good is technology if we can’t use it to prosecute the accused? There is video footage of this man punching and choking animals in his care. Many videos, why is he back in business right now?

Those of us who love animals get to be bombarded with terrible imagery on a daily basis. Heinous acts bestowed upon the innocent without reason.

Our pets are a part of the family. They are not something we abuse, neglect or put in a garbage bin.

We would NEVER want to be put in a situation where the doctor who is supposed to be helping and healing our loved one is intentionally hurting them. This guy is out!

What if he just leaves the province of Ontario, changes his name and starts practising somewhere else? The TERROR!

Please let anyone who brings their animal into this man’s office, either recognize his face or somehow instinctively know they need to grab their pet and back the fuck out of there ASAP.

I’m all for forgiveness, but when it comes to animals and children you don’t get a second chance. This man is not fit to care for anything that is living and breathing, end of story.

According to the receptionist at Skyway Animal Hospital, Dr. Mahavir Rekhi has taken some time off, but is still practising. My response to him was, “If I were you I would reassess my employment options and I would go get a job at McDonald’s before continuing to work for THIS guy. No one should be encouraging him to stay open.”

Yours Truly, F.

PS Hope is on the horizon, Rekhi has been charged with 16 counts of animal cruelty. Now we wait for the outcome of his July 14th court date.

PPS I’ve included a picture of our Nero, he is a part of my heart.Nero 2017

Please take a moment to like and share this post. Thank you!

Signed w/ Love

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signed w: love

Letter Series Chapter 5:

Dear Sir or Madame at the corner of Church and Wellesley,

We are so sorry we have failed you. We’re sorry that on this hellishly cold night, your home is an icy street corner.

In a quest for survival you have turned yourself into a living mummy, large sleeping bags cover you from head to toe. An unsettling image to say the least, a faceless mound of woollen layers that still aren’t warm enough.

No outstretched hand to ignore, no hardened eyes…

Please show us your face, please make some kind of small sign that you’re ok. Some sign that all hope is not lost, that you haven’t fallen too deep and given up on everything completely.

In an effort to offer some kind of gesture, a few people have left McFlurry ice cream. You could probably really use a warm home cooked meal, you deserve to be having one.

You deserve everything that you need. Healthy food, a warm bed and love. You deserve to be loved and taken care of.

This is our failure, what good are we if we can’t figure out a way to help one another. If we have allowed ourselves to become so accustomed to walking right by, without even taking a second glance.

We’re sorry you are suffering. Spending hours and hours on end out in this treacherous weather, when most of us can’t even handle the walk to our pre-heated cars.

Even with all the other atrocities happening in our world today, your misery matters. Your life matters. Finding a way to help you matters. It matters to me.

I searched for you the other day at the corner of Church and Wellesley, but you were nowhere to be found. Sending prayers and blessings your way, wherever you are.

Here’s hoping that life has decided to be a bit less cruel to you and that things have started moving in a better direction.

Here’s hoping that the light at the end of the big dark tunnel is shining so bright, that it fills you with strength and guides you to happiness.

Here’s hoping…

Love,

F.

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Nasty President

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What are they marching for? If you are asking yourself this question please take a moment to crawl out from the rock you’ve been living under while you continue to contemplate the answer.

Who cares that it’s the largest day of protests in U.S. history, in the end it is just a women’s march, right?

So let’s pretend we don’t know what the message is and make it about the things that are insignificant. Let’s be appalled that women use swear words and let’s talk about the, ”pussy ear” hats they were wearing and did you notice so and so celebrity had their face pulled back again!

Last but certainly not least let’s call for the arrest of the most famous attendee because we’re taking one statement she made out of context. This is Madonna we’re talking about! Every moment of her career has been about shock value. Did you think she was going to stand by the podium at a women’s march and knit a bonnet?

She began her speech with, “Welcome to the revolution of love.” Isn’t anyone ever listening?

If you don’t think that women need to be protesting Donald Trump being President of the United States then you are part of the fucken problem! Notice my use of the word, “fuck.”

Since there are no arrests to report, we desperately search for a way to make this negative. Madonna might be a terrorist, I think we found the root of all our problems.

“Grab them by the pussy.” is A-OK but the f-word is where we must draw the line!

Still wondering what all the shouting is about?

Here is a great place to start, a gut churning compilation entitled, “Donald Trump all the sexist things he said.”

I can’t help but raise my voice.

F.

You are More than your Size.

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Cold, dirty snow slaps me in the face with the appropriate song lyric, “Bitch I’m Madonna” trapped in my head…

So did you hear she’s dating another twenty-five year old model? Please keep it up Madonna!

Break those boundaries into tiny pieces and pave the road for the rest of us who may also want to show our ass and fuck twenty something models when we’re almost sixty. 

Would some of Madonna’s choices be as shocking or interesting to us if she were a man? She claims we live in a sexist, ageist society and who can honestly disagree.

In the ‘90’s she ruffled feathers with what was at the time considered controversial imagery, her dancing in front of burning crosses and dabbling in BDSM. Would she have found it amusing then, to know that having a sex life in her late fifties gets people talking just as much!

giphy-1

I’ve never been a huge fan but have appreciated some of her messages; strength, rule breaking and the power to keep re-inventing yourself. At times her tactics may be a bit overdone, but we can all understand the need to hammer people over the head with something to get their undivided attention.

In our modern age of cosmetic and digital enhancement who are the women in the media truly trying to encourage empowerment?

I have hated my fatter self and can totally feel someone like Ashley Graham. She’s all like, Hey look over here I’m big AND beautiful. You thought fat wasn’t sexy, well check out THIS body!

Ashley rejects the label, ”plus-size” and doesn’t want to be put into a box because of the number inside her pants.

The crazy concept that a woman is more than her physical self, imagine!

Starting with even the smallest change matters, like making a conscious effort to tell our daughters, nieces and granddaughters that they are strong and smart just as often as cute or pretty.

F.

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10 things I would tell my 10 year old self

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Letter Series Chapter 4:10-years

To help ring in the New Year, here are 10 important things I would tell myself at 10 years old…

  1. Be You, whatever that means. There is no need to try to be something you’re not just so people will like you. Those who truly belong in your life, always find a way to be there.
  2. Trust your instinct. Right now you’re a kid who really doesn’t know their ass from their elbow but always remember this, you are much smarter than you think. Don’t doubt yourself, I have seen what you are capable of and everything you will accomplish.
  3. Take your time getting into clothes, fashion, make-up and worrying about what you look like. There is more than enough time for all of it, you’re a child, be free!
  4. A blow job doesn’t have anything to do with a blow dryer & kissing someone is amazing! It doesn’t feel anything like when you, “practise” with the wall or your pillow.
  5. Live (somewhat) fearlessly. Fear is a very negative, crippling emotion.
  6. You are not, ”fat” or “ugly” like the bullies say. Their picking on you is only a reflection of the insecurity you spark in them. Features you hate about yourself now, will one day be part of the look everyone wants.
  7. Spend more time in nature, thinking about things that make you laugh, listening to music and dancing even when there is none.
  8. Time is nothing and the right time is now. Believe in miracles and most importantly, believe in the power of love. It’s the only thing that really matters.
  9. Love at first sight truly does exist, even if you try to deny it. Keep your eye on the hippie in Indian fisherman pants…You will be mesmerized by more than just his stylish dance moves.
  10. Life isn’t fair and you will only end up hurt if you expect it to be. You will be judged and misunderstood. People will dislike you, sometimes with merit (because everyone has the occasional bitchy moment) but most of the time for no good reason. Get over it. Being liked by everyone is boring as fuck! Again, Be You…

Love, future F.

 

Let’s celebrate 2017! Please take a moment to like & share…Thank you. 🙂

 

Yours forever, The Christmas Devil. xo

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🎵  It’s Krampus, Krampus, he’ll darken all of your dreams…

It’s Krampus, Krampus, running won’t help you get away! 🎵

krampus-pic

Image Credit: D.Balenzano

There was once a pointy pair of whiskered ears, too large not to encourage listening–

What horrible things these ears heard and heard!

At about the same time as winter’s dust would fall ever so delicately from the sky;

He would stir and slowly begin to awaken.

Aware while sleeping of misfortunes that did not allow him to get much rest.

Blank faced warriors marching to the ear shattering beat of their mistaken god, Greed.

Oh the lies, lies, lies! “Unable to cure this, impossible to fix that, not enough for everyone!”

Now his work in return had only just begun.

While sharpening his claws he formulates the final draft of his, Better-hope-your-name-isn’t-on-this; Naughty List!

On the chilliest night when everyone is lost in a pill induced sleep-

The bells and rusty chains play a quiet symphony once more.

Their sound slowly gains intensity as he gets closer… then still a little closer…

The warning, Brav Sein had been given, what was now put into motion could no longer be stopped.

Peeling open their crusted eyes, The Naughty Ones instantly become familiar with the grotesquely cramped position their body is placed in.

Stuffed into a large basket and dragged, to a fiery pit way down below.

Then, only blackness.

F.

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Condo Erection

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condo-erection 

My attention lingers on the view outside where a bit of modern magic is taking place. A high-rise condo is in what seems to be its final stages of construction and we’ve shared every complicated step.

I have often found myself thinking, “Wow Buddy, your balls are definitely bigger than mine!” In response to work conditions that had to be breaking safety codes somewhere and required extended periods of time out in our beloved Canadian winter temperatures.

There used to be nothing right in that spot and now there is a large tower made of cement, metal and glass. It’s like watching experimental dance…

This guy on this side is doing the exact same thing as the other guy all the way on the opposite side of the building and they can’t even see or speak to each other. They might be working at a different pace but they are still making the same exact movements and motions together, at the same time. They are connected, working toward an ultimate goal, possibly never even having met. 

The road may be long, but perseverance and hard work gets the job done.

What kind of moments will take place between these newly fabricated pristine walls? Too much to try to imagine. A clean slate, a new beginning, the possibilities are endless…

We are all under construction. Transforming, changing, hopefully moving forward while the broken parts and scabs have a chance to heal.

Letting go of old routines or patterns, retraining thought processes that no longer serve your greater good. Keeping on the path that leads to realizing your dreams, once you figure out what the fuck your true dreams actually are.

Yesterday, I prematurely went for a run with a bandaged, injured foot. Being mildly addicted to my workouts, I wasn’t going to let anything delay progress.

“Well hello masochistic side of myself, nice to finally meet you! I have been waiting impatiently to be introduced. I always knew you were standing there at the other end of the room, but I wasn’t quite ready to face you just yet.”

The road may be long… soon even this broken part will heal.

F.

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Caution: Disturbing Content

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evil-vet

This man needs to be stopped!!

Dr. Mahavir Singh Rekhi is a low form of evil.

He preys on living creatures weaker than he is, who have come to him for help and to be healed.

My heart is racing as I write…What do we do about this?

No one can ever take their animal to his practise or leave a pet in his care again!

He took an oath to protect animals and cannot receive some laughable mild punishment. If he gets away with this, we are handing over the possibility of ever living in a society that values truth.

We will be standing by, while those that claim to heal and protect us violently harm members of our family.

First with the possible mass killing of dogs in Montreal simply because of their breed, now THIS!

Make me proud to be Canadian again and take better care of our animals.

Please Sign this Petition & Share!

F.

The Cold Shoulder

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the cold shoulder

Letter Series Chapter 3: Creamy Cravings

Dear Ice Cream Truck Driver,

Stop trying to sabotage my attempt at living a, “Fit & healthy,” “ Strong is the new skinny,” “Dairy & processed sugar free,” life! Why do you have such a knack for creeping by my window and playing your seductive tune right after my workout? As I sip my raw, vegan protein shake I can almost taste every one of your creamy treasures and feel the melting love juice dripping down the corner of my chin…

I mean what kind of person doesn’t like ice cream? Something has to seriously, be wrong with you!

Ice cream generates instant smiles and brings us all back to our childhood and a time of simple, pure happiness. With so many flavours to choose from,  you’re bound to find the one that with each extra lick helps to dissolve all of your deepest, darkest sorrows…

I know I’m not the only one who has cried herself right to the bottom of an empty ice cream tub after a bad breakup?! Who hasn’t savoured a little après fête ice cream cake slathered all over their lover’s nether regions? If by slim chance you haven’t tried this please do pencil it in a.s.a.p, it’s sticky fun for everyone! I would much rather pour some nice prosecco down your vaj, but variety is what keeps things interesting. 😉

Why does ice cream have the power to make us crave it as soon as we see someone else enjoying some? Does kale have that effect? When you see someone eating a kale salad are you all like,

“Wow, I really want some kale!”

Maybe what we need is a little more ice cream in our lives. Ice cream that we just lick and enjoy without worrying about sugar and fat content or calorie count or how much we should run on the treadmill to work off the icy delight the next day.

I propose the adult version of an Ice Cream Truck, the “Margarita Van.” I was going to say, “Marijuana” but decided to stick with, “Margarita.”

Cue Fergie’s, “M.I.L.F. $” Song…

Yes! That is the soundtrack playing in the background while all the happy adults walk, run, skip and traipse their way to the Margarita Van! Can’t you just picture it?

Now, how do I get one of those to drive through my neighbourhood…

F.

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