Dear Marilyn Manson,

Soon we’ll be reunited once again, I’ve been counting the days. I still really enjoy, taking my clothes off to your music. How many times has it played in the background while I was having sex? I think this will forever remain a mystery. Some memories are not worth reliving a second time. I’ve been watching your recent music video excursions with Johnny Depp and I must say, that I approve. Although I can’t decide what I would like more, watching you both go at it, or making a naked sandwich with me in the middle and the two of you as my tasty pieces of white bread. Will continue to further contemplate this…

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I’ve seen the pictures of you and Johnny smoking pot in the bushes…How cool would it be to spend the night partying with you two! By partying I mean filthy stuff, but I feel like that goes without saying at this point. Although I’ve only had one threesome and it was terrible, so I unfortunately would be coming into this with a bit of a negative perspective. If anything, you boys are the ones who can turn this situation around…

I don’t think I would just be speaking for myself when I say things are kinda like this… You go through shit, you listen to some Marilyn Manson and you move the fuck on! There is no healthier way to go about doing things.

A friend of mine was working at a show in Montreal years ago and after the fact he told me, you were running around naked backstage. I was all like, ”Marilyn Manson was running around naked backstage and you didn’t call me? What is wrong with you!?” Needless to say, we never spoke again, I still haven’t forgiven him.

To properly research this piece I have been forcing myself to listen to lots of your music. Forcing isn’t really a good word. I once fell in love with a guy simply because he did a striptease to your version of, “Personal Jesus.” No joke. All I can say is, short jean shorts and you would have wanted him too!

I don’t know how you have stayed current in this ever changing, complex world but kudos to you. Only a modern artist can change with the times and make what is dark in the world and in his own life into something beautiful. Listening to your music has helped to heal some of my wounds from loss over the past year, thank you!

Moving onto other pressing matters, how come no one has ever burned my fishnets off? More specifically, how come YOU, Marilyn Manson have never burned MY fishnets off?

Can’t say how excited I am for your show!

F.

P.S. I won’t be wearing any underwear, please don’t wear any either…