I need advice, bad. I’m about to confide in you about something. Yes, it’s going to make me feel vulnerable and naked but I will do it anyway because I can. For the second time, one of my exes has tried to contact me. Did I mention that when we were together I thought this person was my soul mate? Did I also mention that after we broke up I cheated on quite a few partners with him because I just couldn’t resist?
The first time he contacted me, I don’t think he was sure he was emailing the right person but he was. A cordial little email he was looking to catch up with blah blah, etc. etc. I never responded.
This time he literally went straight for the jugular. He’s been reading the blog and now he knows exactly who it is he’s talking to.
The mofo is being poetic and romantic.
Making reference to how I taste. Displaying how he remembers my tattoos and their placement…
Then I’m wondering what is it that he’s been reading on the blog. Is he reading the POETRY?
Does he think some of it is about him? To be totally honest since I’m in the process of airing my dirty laundry… Some of it is about him.
Do you want to know the lowest move he made? This is quite painful, I might need a minute.
He called me by my pet name.
The sweet name that only he called me by, the one I used to love hearing him say. Stirring up a big pot of emotions, memories and shit by doing so. As if he thinks he can waltz back into my life and pick up where he left off.
Please help me figure this out. I kind of feel like I have to put my big girl panties on and deal with it. If I respond to him, what do I say?
What if he still has some kind of power over me and responding draws me right back into the abyss…
He signed the email, “Eternally.” Who signs an email with the word Eternally!
Are you Count Dracula?
F.
Exes are exes for a reason.
Go back to why you and him didn’t work out.
Ignore the email. Delete it. Don’t let it tempt you.
Sometimes the devil shows up when things are going well.
– xox
Wow. Thanks a lot for this comment! Very smart advice. It ended for a reason… I will keep that in mind 🙂
Wow I want nothing but for you to be happy, You have established a precedent and that I think is where he senses a weak point. The use of compliments and pet names I think can be categorized as manipulation. I think if you let curiosity get the best of you knowing what you stayed apart anyway you deserve what you get. If you think you can establish and maintain healthy boundaries. go for it. If you want to enjoy a little intimacy that you already are comfortable with I say name it and get busy. Being obviously wanted is difficult to turn away from. Go Have some fun but be prepared and have an escape plan
It’s sweet that you want me to be happy. Thank you! I really appreciate it. You are absolutely right it did feel like manipulation coming from someone who had been a master at it. Unfortunately I don’t think establishing healthy boundaries is a possibility here…
Knowing one’s weakness is true wisdom ghost him then 👻
Sounds good 🙂
As with most things in life the correct answer is… It Depends. Yes the aforementioned this game bring up strong positive feelings but is it more than feelings? Has there been an actual change in either you or him that would prevent another dead end? Is it found feelings or just nostalgia? Nobody can tell you what’s best for you. All anyone can really do is go over the options and it’s up to you to decide.
Thank you Lloyd! I’m grateful every time you share your wisdom. I like how you make the point that most important decisions don’t have a concrete yes or no answer. In terms of nostalgia, it’s easy when we connect with fond memories to think we can make something a reality again. Taking a walk down memory lane isn’t always in our best interest.
I love your sense of humor. Although you are worried and wondering if you have the strength to resist you still can see humor/make fun. There is always that one who is our kryptonite. Do not have any advice on how to avoid.
Thanks for your comment! Why do they have to be so damn irresistible? I thought finding the humour in the situation would help me to deal with it. Hopefully the kryptonite has lost some of it’s potency this time around 🙂
Fingers crossed for you
Much appreciated!
😃
My life has always been fairly simple, if I want to do something then I do it. So if you thought this guy was your soulmate then he must have been a pretty big turn on and had several qualities, but is he worth going back for? If he was wounded and it meant risking your own life to go back and get him, would you? If not then leave him where he is 😘
Thank you so much! Your sense of humour is quite refreshing 😀 He was actually a pretty big turn on but there are more important things in life than sex, right?!
Hmmmm, I guess so 😂 I think when you are younger it’s very important. But then I suppose it’s down to the individual some people have a high sex drive and some people don’t? At the same time you have to be a fairly decent person to maintain a successful relationship. Ain’t life complicated 😂😂
It sure is!
A real quandary!
It does sound like your being treated
like so much unclaimed luggage.
Everything should be washed fresh
and clean . . . in the laundry 😎
Thank you for reading! I’m glad that you agree. Fresh and clean is the goal, but some stains are harder to get rid of than others.
Everyone has someone like this from the past, the one you think you’ll drop everything (everything) for – and who knows it. Do you owe a response at all? Not if he just wants an ego boost, or the other thing.
Thank you very much for this! You gave me a necessary reminder that I really needed. I don’t owe him a response or anything else for that matter.
As I read this I awaited some mention that this write came from a prompt. Upon finishing it, I realize this is real. First, I feel for you. No one should be subjected to this.
Honestly, I find it difficult to provide wisdom, because you mentioned “I couldn’t resist.” Everyone can provide the best of advice, but if the temptation or lingering memories
draw you back to him, there is no advice that will help you.
I hate game playing and it appears as if that is exactly wht he is doing. To do this on your blog, where you are opening yourself in a creative way is cold and terrible. If he really cares for you as a person, as the beautiful woman that you are, he wouldn’t be playing mind games. His romancing would be sincere.
My gut feeling is wear garlic, prepare a wooden stake, get some silver bullets. And look deep into your heart and soul. You know you deserve better. You deserve a man who thinks you are an angel on Earth. Someone who will treasure you. Someone who will never have to return, because he will never walk away in the first place.
Forgive me for my words. I have no intentions of offending.
Oh Andrew there is no need to ask for forgiveness! How could I be offended by such intensely beautiful words? You have touched me deeply and to be honest have almost brought tears to my eyes. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. I’m literally having trouble responding because I’m a bit overwhelmed.
I appreciate you trying to sympathize and share what your instinct is telling you about the situation. I have to say that I think you’re right about the garlic. The thing is that at the time I loved this person with my whole heart and that wasn’t enough. Maybe he regrets that now but this story ended for me a while ago.
Don’t ever change and don’t be afraid to speak from your big heart. You have helped me smile through something difficult. For that I am extremely grateful.
Transient emotions are always a killer, for it stirs our superficial layer of mind. My advice is not to get carried away, think rationally, there is a reason he is ex – weigh them before taking a call
Thank you so much for your response Shantanu! I will take your good advice to heart, I appreciate you taking the time to give it to me. Can’t forget about those reasons! Looking forward to hearing about your trip 🙂
You are absolutely welcome. Wishing you the best
Hey,
Hope you are doing well.
Not sure if I have sent this request before.
I am scheduling Mental Health Awareness re-blogs for the month of May, can I share a blog post of yours that’s related to the subject in any way.
Your words can help educate the readers on the subject and give validation to the ones traveling in the same boat.
Thank you! 🙂
Hello! Hope you’re doing well too 🙂
If poems are ok I would love it if you would share Mr. Nothing, a poem about anxiety and depression…
Thank you. Congrats on your book!
https://fallenangelontherun.com/2018/04/19/mr-nothing/
that would be great. thank you so much
thanks a lot 🙂
You’re welcome! It’s really wonderful that you’re trying to help raise awareness.
It’s important. Somebody has to do it and the gap is huge.
I grieved over an ex for seven years. He reel me in and out for ever it seemed. He knew how to touch my weaknesses and claimed I was the only one he couldn’t get over. Finally I hooked him up with a friend of mine to get him out of my mind. The spell was broken he was hers after that.
Thank you for sharing this story! What you did was very courageous. I’m glad you found a positive way to move on with your life.
Thank you so much.
Somehow I missed this at you publishing. I would have reacted with “I would have to look at all the evidence to make a good recommendation. Let me know. I have kept exes at a distance.
I will keep this in mind John. Thank you very much for offering to help. I appreciate it!
Oh golly. I’d say get quiet, breathe and ask Your heart/higher self. You probably already know deep down what Your highest good would be. Not to diss him or his intention….but ALL of us, when we want something…can be brilliant communicators particularly when we know the other person so well. What’s the best for You is most likely the best for him as well. God. I have done both when I was younger….stayed away and listened/returned. I don’t envy Your situation! Especially because which of us girls, no matter how strong we are, don’t love a wonderful splash of romance? Sending You much Love and wishes for the Highest Good for You Both!!! 💕
I sincerely thank you for taking the time to write this wonderful advice. It means a lot to me. The answers do come when we get quiet and listen, even if they may not be the ones we want to hear. What you said about romance is too true. I’m a big sucker for all the romantic things! LOL
Sending love back, hope you’re having a fantastic day! 😀
Oh God! You, me and every woman I know is a sucker for romance! I think we are wired that way! 😄 And Thank You! I hope You’re having a fantastic day as well!!! 💖🤗
Thanks a lot! I think you’re right 🙂