My Favorite Things

& now something positive!

I’ve been practising singing a song for a special little girl in my life.

I think I’m doing a reasonable job so far, the cat approaches me when I’m singing and doesn’t quickly run out of the room. He could also just be coming closer because he’s trying to claw my eyes out, I guess we’ll see…

The song is, “My Favorite Things”.

When the dog bites, when the bee stings

When I’m feeling sad

I simply remember my favourite things

And then I don’t feel so bad

No matter who you are or whatever planet you’re from, everyone has a list of favorite things.

There is a key to every heart, we all have memories, moments, tastes, smells and loved ones that immediately can make us happy.

So what if part of getting over a really bad day was about taking a moment to remember or focus on some of our favorite things?

I had the recent opportunity to see Tony Robbins live and participate in a guided heart meditation, where he asks you to remember three things you are truly grateful for.

How amazing does it feel, to outwardly send a thank you to the universe with your whole heart for the blessings you just couldn’t live without! Why don’t I just sit in gratitude more often?

Also, why do I want to have sex with this man so bad! Tony Robbins is to motivational coaching what Leonard Cohen is to music! Tony really speaks to me and I’m not just talking about my crotch area…Not in a weird cultish kind of way, but in an honest everything he says seems to make a lot of sense way.

I was PMSing when I attended his seminar so the experience was a bit of an emotional roller coaster.

I laughed, I cried, hugged some strangers, felt truly alive & close to B., checked if I looked fat in the bathroom mirror and had a shit load of carbs as soon as it was all over!

CSISo without further delay here are some of my favorite things in no particular order:

Watching the sunset with my toes in the water,

Killing my workout,

Cat paws

Sipping a coconut with a straw & dancing with Papa.

Stepping off a plane in a new place to explore…

The first smell of spring lilacs,coconut

Endless kisses from B.

Spending the day writing under a tree

& being an auntie.

Take a minute to think about some of your favorite things and please like & share this post 🙂

F.

Advertisements

The Cold Shoulder

the cold shoulder

Letter Series Chapter 3: Creamy Cravings

Dear Ice Cream Truck Driver,

Stop trying to sabotage my attempt at living a, “Fit & healthy,” “ Strong is the new skinny,” “Dairy & processed sugar free,” life! Why do you have such a knack for creeping by my window and playing your seductive tune right after my workout? As I sip my raw, vegan protein shake I can almost taste every one of your creamy treasures and feel the melting love juice dripping down the corner of my chin…

I mean what kind of person doesn’t like ice cream? Something has to seriously, be wrong with you!

Ice cream generates instant smiles and brings us all back to our childhood and a time of simple, pure happiness. With so many flavours to choose from,  you’re bound to find the one that with each extra lick helps to dissolve all of your deepest, darkest sorrows…

I know I’m not the only one who has cried herself right to the bottom of an empty ice cream tub after a bad breakup?! Who hasn’t savoured a little après fête ice cream cake slathered all over their lover’s nether regions? If by slim chance you haven’t tried this please do pencil it in a.s.a.p, it’s sticky fun for everyone! I would much rather pour some nice prosecco down your vaj, but variety is what keeps things interesting. 😉

Why does ice cream have the power to make us crave it as soon as we see someone else enjoying some? Does kale have that effect? When you see someone eating a kale salad are you all like,

Wow, I really want some kale!”

Maybe what we need is a little more ice cream in our lives. Ice cream that we just lick and enjoy without worrying about sugar and fat content or calorie count or how much we should run on the treadmill to work off the icy delight the next day.

I propose the adult version of an Ice Cream Truck, the “Margarita Van.” I was going to say, “Marijuana” but decided to stick with, “Margarita.”

Cue Fergie’s, “M.I.L.F. $” Song…

Yes! That is the soundtrack playing in the background while all the happy adults walk, run, skip and traipse their way to the Margarita Van! Can’t you just picture it?

Now, how do I get one of those to drive through my neighbourhood…

F.

If you enjoyed this post, please take a moment to like & share…Thank-you! 🙂

Spanked: A unicorn’s story

 

pete 1

Letters Series Chapter 1: Meet Pete

From Matilda to her unicorn Pete:

I have offended you my precious and for this I am truly sorry. Please let me softly whisper secrets one more time in your cute little fluffy ear! Remember, it’s you and me against the world sweet cheeks and nothing in this great big crazy world could ever change that.

Spanking you on the bus was just something that had to be done and there was no avoiding it. How many times have we had the talk about things that are appropriate when we are in public and how we spend our time when it’s just the two of us at home in the big marble castle?

I don’t enjoy humiliating you, especially so close to our wedding anniversary. ❤ ❤ ❤

Oh don’t look at me like that with those irresistible big, shiny eyes. I am trying to make a good impression on the other members of the royal kingdom. When one laughs alone to themselves it might give strangers an indication of, a few screws loose or something missing upstairs. I cannot encourage this kind of first impression.

When I pull you out of my purse and we are anywhere but our private quarters, be the jewel at my side that only makes me appear to shine even brighter in the afternoon’s warm sunlight!

You must not point and snicker at people on the bus even if they smell, are fat or have absolutely no sense of fashion. Not all of God’s creatures can be as color coordinated and adorable as you are, my love. Compliments aside I will raise my hand to your behind again if I need to.

Signed with love & longing…

Matilda Queen of the Universe. xxx

P.S. I have laid your pajama out on the couch. I need a bit of time alone to get my head straight.

P.P.S. Don’t try to win me back by doing that, thing you do. I’m officially immune to your advances.

From Pete to Matilda Queen of the Universe:

Touché my dear, touché. I am guilty and therefore deserve any form of abuse you may see fit. I often find myself thinking about how much better I am than everyone else which unfortunately provokes inappropriate laughter in public. Why should I mute any part of myself just to be socially acceptable in a clearly corrupt society?

While we are on the topic of keeping up appearances, a little eyeliner would be a good idea. If I can find a way to look this cute in every type of lighting, you can invest in some long-wear lipstick to spice up our sex life.  I’d die to see how long it will take to wipe those red rings off my privates…

See what you do to me? Now I’m all riled up on the bus and you’re not even here so I could do something about it. All I have to distract me is the overwhelming stench of body odour and I think someone shit themselves – I can’t tell which direction the smell is coming from…The subway is delayed again & this bitch is due for a caffeine fix.  It’s about to get nasty in here!

A fat woman, who clearly doesn’t own a mirror, keeps pushing me and playing with her phone. If I don’t ever see you again because she fell and I got crushed, remember you, my little skin tag, were roughly the best samba under the sheets I ever had. Shave your mustache and get that ass in the air baby, papa’s throwing down some old people and coming straight home.

Pete

If you enjoyed this post, please take a moment to like & share…Thank-you! 🙂

F.